Still wants to play
So Nitro has been less than enthusiastic about eating lately – his dog food, that is. I’d been attributing it to almost zero exercise due to the bitter cold temps/ice covered yard, getting tired of his Hills Science KD food, and just being spoiled beyond words and only wanting treats. Yesterday he had his re-check for kidney function labs that we do because of the NSAID’s he’s on for his arthritis. The values (BUN and CREAT) went up – again. I requested a full chemistry panel along with a CBC to see if anything else was going on….because what else would a lab rat do? Good news is, everything else looked really good.
So now I’m in a panic about his kidney values…when this journey began, I always figured cancer would be what took him away from me. Now I forsee kidney failure taking my boy. I’m back to the stomach-twisting fear I felt after his diagnosis; I can’t eat, I feel like crying all the time – in short, I’M NOT BEING MORE DOG! I feel like such a fake, telling other members this importatnt piece of advice, when I’m not even close to it. I hate that I’m mourning him while he’s still here. Oh, and by the way, he isn’t acting the least bit sick! Other than having to coax him to eat, he’s playful and happy and loving. I keep focusing on the end…when will it come, how many days, weeks, months do I have left with him? What is wrong with me?
He has an appointment next week to have IV fluids to flush out his kidneys. He sees his holistic vet on Wednesday for chiro and acupuncture, and I will ask her about some homeopathic options for kidney support. My brain knows we’re not at the end, yet my heart is saying something different. Part of me says “he’s been a warrior and faced every challenge thrown at him so far, he can face this too”; the other part of me says “he’s been a warrior and faced every challenge thrown at him so far, maybe he’s finally run out of luck”. I know I have to snap out of this funk, for his sake as much as mine, but I’m not sure I know how.
After re-reading my words, I’m struck by how selfish they sound….he is over 2 ½ yrs post amp, still happy and goofy, and I’m mired in self-pity! How many members out there would KILL for what we have right now? My apologies for the pity-party.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference”
Loves his sunspot
January 16th, 2017 at 4:39 pm
Paula,
I totally get it. I think I would feel the same if our circumstances were different. In fact, when Shelby was having some “wins” I felt bad posting when others were losing their battles. I think Hannah passed either right before or right after Shelby and I remember being so sad for Sally and not wanting to celebrate or acknowledge my story. It is a tough one.
But we love Nitro. We love that he is a poster child for how amazing life can be on three.
Your story gives hope to those new to this journey. There are stories that are beyond statistics and hope is a powerful thing. It helps!!!
So if Nitro changes course on what he wants to eat, spoil him, cook for him, love him! He is living each day in the moment and we should all be so lucky to live there and not in our head!!!
Sending you love and hope and peace!
alison with spirit shelby in her heart (and little jasper too)
January 16th, 2017 at 1:21 pm
Paula, I totally understand all of what you’re going thru. Let me know how the fluids go this week and your visit with your holistic vet. Hugs to you!!
Tracy
January 16th, 2017 at 1:13 pm
Sweet Paula 🌹
It is quite amazing how we can panick out of the blue … but believe me, your Nitro is doing fabulously 👍🏼 2 1/2 years after surgery YAY 🎊🎊🎊
His kidneys values are not exactly perfect but he is being attended to, looked at by his vet team AND he IS eating and drinking, albeit favouring treats over regular food, who can blame him?
My girl Kinky had kidney failure and I can assure you her symptoms were totally different from Nitro’s.
She stopped eating (even treats) and drinking and we did lots of different treatments including hemodialisis (spelling???) but in the end it was too late for her.
My purpose telling you this is not to get you more worried or more depressed, I just want you to understand Nitro is ok and even if his kidneys were failing him miserably (which is not even near to being the case) there would be lots of ways to try and correct it.
Being more dog can be really hard but I found with me it works as long as I can keep focusing on how happy my girl is and spending time trying to propose interesting activities to her rather than thinking about time and progression of 💩 this crap disease.
Hang in there girl, you and your lovely sweet boy will be ok, there is still lots of love tons shared between you two 💞💞💞💞
Sending you an avalanche of kisses and lots and lots of cuddles to gorgeous Nitro
January 15th, 2017 at 11:58 pm
WHOA!!! HOLD UP!! How did you, not only get close to the edge, but almost over the edge..ALMOST…with that chain we have wrapped aroundnyiur waist??? You took that sucker off didn’t you??
But guess what? We’ve still got you attached to this huge winch thing we had made just for you! And we are pulling your sweet butt ack right NOW!!!!
Now that we have your attention, let’s start with this:: really, really glad you got those thoughts out if yiur head and I to “paper”. Jerry said it well- You now have those thoughts out of your head so you can move through them and get back into the flow of BEING MORE NITRO!! You NEEDED to share these thoughts with us in this safe harbor that is so non-judging and so understanding!!
Secondly:: goD, grant me the serenity to not make s**t up in my head and to give me the wisdom to kick that s**t to the curb!
Thirdly….some facts from Dr Google:: the NSAID itself can make creatin levels go up. High protein can make them gonup. Even certain supplements, including Vitamin C can make them gonup. Antibiotics can make them gonup. High glugose can make them gonup. Depending on when Nitro ate before the CBC, that can make them go up. And,as you are doing, fluids can make them go down!!!
Okay, as var as food. Try PET FRESH, grain free, in the refrigeration section. I GURANTEE…did you hear that Nitro…GUARANTEE….he will eat that!!
Check your PM
Lpts and lots and lots of love and hugs!!!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
PS. Look at that handsome athlete in the photo! That boy is ready to play ball…and WIN!! Grrrrreat photo on so many levels!!
January 15th, 2017 at 11:36 pm
Hang in there Paula. And give yourself more credit. Nobody expects perfection, particularly when it comes to emotions. Michelle and Rene said it well. We’ll be putting out positive vibes for those kidneys just going through a short hiccup. Hugs to the boys and you.
Karma and our crew
January 15th, 2017 at 9:55 pm
First, that is GREAT that Nitro is doing pretty dang good. No it’s not great that his kidney values are up but oh my gosh you are not being selfish at all, really! By writing it out and then reading it back to yourself, you’re acknowledging what you’re feeling and that is a HUGE step in helping you get past your fears.
You know the drill. Allow yourself to feel this, then keep moving forward. You can do it! xoxo
January 15th, 2017 at 9:05 pm
Oh, don’t worry I think we all know exactly how you feel (even at the end of writing this peppy post, the back of my mind was scared and my stomach sick thinking what if this happens to meg).
You know each day is a blessing and on borrowed time, but you still think at the back of your head that it can’t be over yet. I know you know this, but you gotta be more dog! If it is a kidney problem, you’ve got a great team of vets to try fight it, and hey, it might not even be a massive problem!
As other people have said, try some wet food, he might just be over that kibble and a bit of a change will do the world of good!
Will be thinking of you and Nitro! Best of luck
January 15th, 2017 at 6:17 pm
Paula,
I know exactly what you are going through. Nitro will guide you. You know this. This is so hard to do but do try not to mourn him yet. It’s ok to feel down just try not to get stuck there, ok. Nitro isn’t!!!
When Buddy got picky, I basically put him on a diet of rotisserie chicken and rice (Costco 4.99 and amazing). Also ground beef but he always preferred the chicken. Not sure this helps. It’s so hard to go through what you are going through. You have my thoughts a prayers.
Julie and Spirit Buddy
January 15th, 2017 at 6:12 pm
I’m sorry Nitro is up against another challenge! My Maggie also developed kidney failure. Getting her to eat was a huge challenge- I usually ended up feeding her with a syringe. We also did sub-Q fluids at home every other day to help wash out her kidneys. Unfortunately Maggie was diagnosed with her second cancer not long after the renal failure diagnosis so I wasn’t able to invest a lot of time in research on the kidneys. There is a Yahoo K9 Kidney group that I found helpful when Mag was first diagnosed: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/K9KIDNEYS/info. As Michelle mentioned Maggie-Moo’s mom Tracy probably has some good info to share. She is knowledgeable on kidney issues and holistic options.
Hang in there!
Karen
January 15th, 2017 at 5:15 pm
Oh Paula ~ You know that I, too, suffer from “survivor’s guilt” with Murphy. It’s wonderful to be able to celebrate our milestones, but at the same time, it’s hard, too.
It’s great that his other labs are good! Focus on that. I think that they make canned kd food, right? Would that help any? Murphy is eating so much better since we’ve added canned food! lol Can you do sub-q fluids at home, like you can with a cat? We’ve done that with 2 of our cats (once for a few months). Although Nitro might not be so accommodating lol
You got this!!!
Donna
January 15th, 2017 at 3:35 pm
Oh I’m sorry to hear this, Paula, and I totally get how stressful it is. The fact Nitros other bloods are so good is very positive though and I am so pleased you’re seeing the holistic vet. Do they do herbal medicine? When we were trying to build Megs immunity to get rid of a chronic infection, her holistic vet made her up some herbal medicine based on her specific needs. I think for cleansing and boosting purposes, herbal medicines can be extremely useful. They also do various holistic alternatives to NSAI’s, though how these compare in efficacy I really don’t know and I’m sure it depends on the individual dog.
Thinking of you,
Meg, Clare and Elsie Pie xxx
January 15th, 2017 at 3:27 pm
Listen to me. You are are fine. We all have these types of moments and pity parties as you say. I don’t think it is but its your heart hurting. I hope you can turn this around 🙂 In fact we know you can. We have confidence.
I hope Tracy & your vet can help you out.
xoxoxox
Michelle & Angel Sassy
January 15th, 2017 at 11:29 am
Poor Nitro. He has really been through a lot in his 2 1/2 years post amp! It is absolutely normal for you to worry. No one wants to lose their furbaby, to cancer or to anything else. Let’s hope the vets can work a little magic on his kidney levels and his not eating is boredom. They probably can’t do much about food preference – special kidney diet v. cheeseburger. Not hard to see why he might be bored. We are all here for you and Nitro!