Today is my Warrior’s 2nd birthday in heaven….he would’ve been 14 years old, and most likely would’ve passed on by now, but I still feel like I was robbed of precious time with him. I miss him every bit as much today as I did 2 years ago….the sorrow is never-ending. It’s no longer a sharp, stabbing pain, but rather a dull, throbbing ache in my heart.
I feel even more melancholy this year, probably because we’ve been facing some trying times in our personal life as of late. You know those people who seem to live a fairy-tale life, where everything just falls into place perfectly…….yeah, that’s not me. My whole life I’ve been a “glass-half-full” kind of person, but now that seems pointless; why set yourself up for disappointment? But I digress…our lives are so very different now; our house is now a Terrier house, the Dobe Days are most likely done forever. Nitro broke the Dobie mold – ruined us for future Dobes. But I’m ok with that – why mess with perfection? I’ll see a Dobie walking down the street and briefly consider getting another one – but I don’t think that’s in the cards for us. Everything happens for a reason, and Nitro was the reason we found ourselves here, with this wonderful Tripawd Family.
The Terrorist Trio are doing well; Kodi seems to take cues from the tots, and is acting like a puppy again; at 15 1/2 years , this is a joy to see.
The tots are a non-stop whirlwind of energy, always underfoot. I find myself saying “watch out”, “move it”,” go on”,” get”, “MOVE”, a thousand times a day. Tucker follows me EVERYWHERE, never lets me out of his sight. And he is a huge cuddle bug, always on someone’s lap. Grizzly still shows jealousy, but its not out of control anymore – he is my kisser, loves giving kisses. My sister ran into a man walking a 2 year old westie, and told him about my 3…..he said “now that’s a busy house!”
Pack Walk, Kodi leading the way
Tot Bookends
Next August brings our annual Tripawd- Family Vacation, and this time the gang is all coming to visit me in Wisconsin. We’ve reserved a beautiful house on Lake Michigan, with our own private beach. I’m so excited to have them here, where they can meet “The Terrorist’s”, and “The Voice Of Reason” – Sally’s pet name for John. The heartache and sorrow that came from losing my Warrior, also brought me these women who have become my sisters of the heart….and for that I will always be grateful. THANK YOU SWEET BOY!
And now I leave you once again with Nitro’s Tribute Video…..Happy Birthday in heaven, I hope you are having a blast! I miss you with all of my being….be good, Mama loves you!
November 4th, 2019 at 1:10 pm
Late here also, and also feeling the tears coming. You could be writing for me, its clear that’s a common theme. The feelings you lay out there are precisely what I feel, that ache that is always there in my heart, not that acute suffering that it was earlier. Not meant in a bad way, but it’s a comfort to know there are others out there with the same hurt, that normal is all relative, but there are others who deal with the same pain. Makes me feel less crazy. Thank you for that.
Nitro was a special boy–always will be. It’s clear how well-loved he always will be, by you and by many. Happy belated birthday, handsome.
November 3rd, 2019 at 7:08 pm
Well dang I’m late to the pawty but can we please keep it going one more day? HOPPY BIRTHDAY AT THE BRIDGE, NITRO!
I agree, once you have the Best Dog Ever, for most of us it’s probably best to look at other breeds in order to do that legacy justice. We did not, and you see what we got with Wyatt right? YIKES! So. Not. Jerry! It took us many years to accept that our life would be radically different with Wyatt, and to learn to stop comparing. We have, but it was a long learning curve. You spared yourself that agony.
I think your pack is awesome Paula, you have a sensibility and outlook on life that is realistic yet sprinkle with a dash of hope and optimism, even if you don’t see it. I think it comes through in your writing.
Well, once again, your boy’s legacy makes us smile and remember the good times. He will never, ever be forgotten.
November 1st, 2019 at 4:44 pm
Okay, the tears flowed, as I k ew they would. No, the sadness never goes away. And the wishing g fot ehat qas is always there.
But we DO have our treasured memories that DO make us smile. And these pictures remind you Nitro IS always in your hesrt❤ I do hope you post a picture of that beautiful heart necklace and the lovely sentiments with it.
Extra cyber higs yo uou sweet Paula😊
November 1st, 2019 at 4:21 am
Geez Paula…just geez. Uoj aure know how to take us on a journey of emotional extremes 😂😭
First of all. I”m sorry you are having a rough time right now. Good times don’t last furever, but neither to the bad times. Sometimes just our “turn in the barrel”. Thankfully though, it’s only temporary and we soon climb out, maybe not as fast as we would like, or as effortlessly as we would like, but we do climb out. As you know, we can’t change the cards we are dealt (just like in Cards Against Humanity😂🤣), but we can control how we react. It always boils down to “what is the lesson, what can you learn?”
And my dear Mrs Voice of Reason. let’s get that glass half ful RIGHT NOW…fillmitmup with three things you are grateful for… and it can’t be the trio or Warrior Nitro’ Nope, it has to be filled half way (thus the half full scenario) with three things others would say that they are grateful for about YOU!!!
Okay, I’ll start to make it easier for you. I would say, “Paula, I am sooooo grateful to be included in your vast circle of compassion. Paula, am so grateful for all rhe various ways you have helped ease some of the stress in my life so I can take better care of my dogs.” Okay, now you come up with at least two other things others would say as to why they are grateful for you!!!
You now have a glass half full of gratitude and you can never set yourself up for disappointment when you see the goodness in yourself that we all see❤
Now, let’s get on to celebrating Nitro’s birthday! We all know he loved a lofe a meaning…and still does. His story continues to inspire and give hope. And best of all, because of iNitro, , we all got to know you, know your heart, know the special place Nitro holds in your heart (and ours)
I KNOW Nitro is watching over you. He’s shown you so many signs in so many ways that he is right by your side.
And then, as you take us through so many different emotions while thinking of Ntro (and your dang empty glass, that is now full af with gratitude for you from your friends), we see those ADORABLE pictures of the Trio!!! OMD!! Seeing them all together in the leashes, or Tucker and Grizz looking out the window, seeing them in their little hoodie jjackets…..true smile makers!!!
Now, I have to say, I’m coming back to watch Nitro’s video. All this “getting in the zone” writing has exhausted me!!!
Nitro, we .love you and appreciate you 💖💖💖
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie!
PS. As far as you and Tina having a half empty glass each. If we add those half empty glasses together, does that equal one full empty glass???
October 31st, 2019 at 10:22 pm
Happy 2nd birthday in heaven handsome Nitro. My thoughts are with you Paula. I totally get the rollercoaster of life. We have had a few rollercoasters here too.
Go ahead and laugh at me but I think of you and your beautiful pic of Nitro every time I wonder what I am going to do with all of my puppy diapers now, lol.
I am sure Mitch will tap somepawdy on the shoulder in need and I will donate them.
I have thought of you many times, I guess I need to just take the time to type up an email.
Hugs to you, even bigger ones today. Keeping you in my thoughts,
Jackie and Huck
October 31st, 2019 at 7:50 pm
OK, you always make me cry. <3 <3 <3 . Nitro will always hold a special place in my heart. I am so glad that we met even though it wasn't the best of circumstances.
Happy Birthday Warrior Nitro. I remembered this was your birthday from the time I got up this morning. Hope you are having a big party up there on the Bridge.
Now I can't wait to visit you in August. Try some of those wonderful bloody Mary's and cheese curds. Visit different places and relax. Oh yeah can't forget the Cards Against Humanity (yes that means Sally has to figure out a way to get there too lol)
Sending you love and hugs
xoxoxo
October 31st, 2019 at 5:51 pm
As always we‘re on the same page and since my glass is half empty, too, we need to refill them (both literally and figuratively of course) in August. Can’t wait to see you.
Hugs my friend. I miss you and you’re in my thought.
T